You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
