so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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