I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
