the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
