i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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