As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
