So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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