So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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