I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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