All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
