Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
