What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
