yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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