What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
