What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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