I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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