We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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