i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
