im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
