You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
