how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize