Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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