its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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