Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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