Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
