For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
