update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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