i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
