my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
