Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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