stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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