Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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