you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
