I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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