You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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