something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
