literally had 100 drinks last night.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
