If i come over, it means nothing
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
