Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Ketchup is God's man juice
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
