i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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