Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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