i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
