well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
