Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
