Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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