ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
