Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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