i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
