I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
