So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
