If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
