I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
