i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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