So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
