She said her name was "party"
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize