Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
