He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize