What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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