my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
