i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
