He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
