there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
