we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
