I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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