im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
