Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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