can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Randomize