before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
