I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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