Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Randomize
