yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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