You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize